|'Cause Spanx are a girl's best friend.|
Or so I thought.
|Clearly, people find me to be a disgusting beast.|
Despite the seemingly unstoppable expanding of my belly, arms, and boobs, I'm still a pretty confident person. I'm still a fairly witty person. I still smile constantly, dance like no one's watching, hug anyone who asks, affirm folks whenever I get a chance. And because of all that, people love me. And lest that sound like I'm bragging about how super awesome I am, I don't think awesomeness has anything to do with it. It's about being the kind of person who makes other people feel good. It's about choosing not to to spend all my time thinking about the way I look, and instead just focusing on having a really good time with the people I love. And that seems to more than compensate for my increasing body mass. Go figure.
|I almost didn't post this amazing pic because of my chubby arms.|
Listen: I know there are people who were at my high school reunion, or at my friends' wedding, or who follow me on instagram who are probably like, "Oh, damn. She got FAT. lol." But screw them because they haven't walked two moons in my moccasins. They may feel like they're better because they weigh what they weighed in high school, but even if I'm heavier than I want to be, I live the life I want to live. I read books I want to read, meet celebrities I want to meet, podcast with one of my best friends every week, dance with another of my best friends at his wedding, and get told constantly that I'm talented, intelligent, beautiful, inspiring. Why do I effing care if I'm also overweight? That is the dumbest thing on the planet. I am worth so much more than my stupid, chubby arms.
And so are you. Because most of you are right there with me, for various reasons. You want to be the person who spends a couple hours at the gym every day and can pretend to like gluten free, vegan food, and has time to prepare such things even if you ARE the kind of person who enjoys eating what is essentially dog food for humans. No, seriously, that stuff is the worst, but I'm proud of you for deluding yourself into thinking it tastes good. You want to be the person who has a B-cup and never has to wear Spanx, despite the scourge of genetics that you should accept says, "NOPE. I have made that physically impossible." I mean, make sure you go to the doctor and you're not slowly killing yourself, but if you're fat and healthy and a good person, you are what the world needs. People don't constantly affirm me because I'm special. Unless you're a douchebag, you're probably just as awesome to be around as I am. It's summer, beach time, and it's as good a time as any to stop shopping for the perfect cover-up and start being the winner Shia LaBeouf knows you can be. Let's do this, chubby folk.