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Monday, May 2, 2011

[973] bloggers' guilt


I have had about a million and one things I've wanted to blog about of late. I have a whole series entitled "Why Glee Sucks" outlined in a text edit document on my desktop. I have a half written essay on Henry David Thoreau and the Tea Party - which I composed while on the bus - sitting neglected in a spiral notebook in my backpack. Still another post, tentatively titled, "Don't Be A Douche," which will discuss anti-intellectualism and anti-whatever-the-opposite-of-intellectualism-is, sits neglected at the back of my consciousness. Often quite at the forefront of my consciousness, actually. It makes me anxious having all these ideas buzzing about but lacking the time or willpower to put them to paper. Or to the "compose" box.
At this time of year, anxiety awakens me in the mornings before my alarm clock. I have a thousand papers and presentations, millions of Tumblr posts thanking faithful donors to my trip to South Africa, billions of commitments and responsibilities requiring my full attention, all overwhelming me to the point of complete mental paralysis. I can feel anxiety tingling in my ribcage and the tips of my fingers.
So I'm sorry for my absence, and I thank those of you have been leaving me comments lately encouraging me to keep writing. School is nearly done for the semester, and perhaps soon I can finally inhale deeply without feeling guilty that I've taken too much time to do so.