Monday, March 22, 2010

[567] the frustration of the impoverished procrastinator

I'm sitting at the OCC library right now, where I should be studying for my Ethnic Studies exam. However, in the short five minutes in which I was NOT pestering the circulation desk to see if the textbook had come back in, the book was, in fact, checked in and checked back out again. That's what I get for trying not to be a nuisance. Next time I'm just going to sit there and stare at them until the book comes in. It will be uncomfortable, but I'm gonna get that book.

This all stems from two basic problems. Problem number 1 is my pathological inability to do things ahead of time. Could I have taken this book out and studied last week? Sure. That would have been a fantastic idea. Is there any chance in the whole entire universe that I would ever do that? No. Why? Because even if I physically had the book in my hands, I would have Facebooked instead. If there is no sense of urgency, I do not get things done. I need pressure. I'm useless without it.

In college, I took an English course in which there were no due dates. You heard me. No due dates. As long as everything got in before the end of the course, it was all good. By the end of the course, I'd turned in one really good paper and one atrocious paper, and I didn't turn in the last paper at all. Somehow I managed a B+ in the class, about which I still feel kinda guilty. There was no way I earned it, and I sometimes think that maybe the professor confused me with someone else.

This is why I'm not great with blogging either. There's no urgency in blogging. Nobody is hovering over my website at midnight, waiting for me to post my next ramble. I finished NaNoWriMo ahead of time, against the odds, because I had a deadline (and a healthy sense of competition, if I'm being honest).

The other issue here is the exorbitant cost of textbooks. For this particular class, we're required to have the newest edition of the book. It was just published, and therefore nobody is selling it for cheap. I believe $89 was the cheapest price at the beginning of the semester. I've paid more than that for texts before, but after four years of college, I'm over it. If I can't get it for $20 or less on, I'm not buying it. I don't have the money or the interest in doing so. "But you have a husband who'd gladly pay for it," you say. True. But it's the principle of the thing. I don't want him paying for it either. It's robbery. I pay a bajillion dollars for my education, and THEN you want to gouge me on the cost of the textbook? I will say good day to you, sir! It ain't happenin'.

I realize that when grad school time rolls around, I will not be able to get by without the books. It will be a necessary evil and I will take part in it grudgingly. Let me have my rebellion now, while I still can. I'll be better in the morning.

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